


Just Want To Help

by LovelyJehan



Series: Ryan/Brendon/Dallon Poly Fics [3]
Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Dallon and Brendon are worried, Hurt/Comfort, I just had to write it, M/M, Multi, Ryan has an eating disorder, Somewhat Ryan-centric, TW: Eating Disorder, Time Skips, implied/referenced eating disorder, not my best work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-08-31 02:09:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8559244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyJehan/pseuds/LovelyJehan
Summary: Ryan has an eating disorder. Brendon and Dallon get worried.Rated T just to be safe.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't edited this, sorry for any mistakes.

Ryan was shaking as he stood up. His head was spinning and his eyes weren’t focusing on anything. He knew he probably should have eaten today. But the _calories._

_‘At least Brendon and Dallon aren’t here to see me like this.’_ Ryan thought. Brendon and Dallon being Ryan’s two boyfriends. He quickly sat back down, the room was starting to spin slower and he forced his eyes to focus on the blank wall ahead of him. It was late in the evening and Ryan hadn’t eaten anything all day. Ryan was tired. He closed his eyes and soon he had drifted off into a dreamless sleep. 

~*~

A week had passed since Ryan almost passed out due to lack of food and it had been five days since Brendon and Dallon had finished tour. Ryan couldn’t afford any slip-ups while they were home, which meant he had to eat _just_ enough for a whole two months until they went back on tour again. Brendon was making lunch - after several months on tour, homemade food was _always_ the best option. The idea that Brendon was making lunch made Ryan anxious. He had to eat so that Brendon and Dallon wouldn’t expect anything, yet he didn’t feel like it. 

Brendon set the food down in front of his boyfriends at the dining table. The meal was simply chicken and salad, but it made Ryan feel sick. He forced himself to eat some of the chicken and then the salad. He didn’t mind eating the salad, the chicken on the other hand was harder to force himself to eat. Ryan picked at it, oblivious to his two boyfriends looking worryingly at each other. After a few more bites, Ryan pushed his plate aside. 

“Is that all, Ry?” Dallon asked. 

“M’not hungry.” Ryan replied, despite the empty feeling in his stomach. 

The subject was dropped, but Dallon and Brendon knew that there was no possible way that Ryan was okay. Ryan soon left the table, claiming that he had something he needed to do. The two other boys watched him walk away and made sure that he was out of ear shot. 

“What do you think is the matter with Ry?” Brendon asked. 

“Maybe he’s just sick?” Dallon offered, but not at all convinced by the theory.

“Or he could be -.” Brendon started.

“- Let’s just leave it. If this lasts longer than a few days, we’ll ask him about it.” Dallon said, reaching across the table to give Brendon’s hand a comforting squeeze. 

~*~

Later, that night, the three boys were curled up in their bed watching a movie. Ryan had positioned himself so that he was between Dallon and a wall. It worried both Brendon and Dallon as Ryan usually slept between them, especially when they got back from tour. Dallon reached out his hand for Ryan to take, but Ryan just looked at it, confused, and rolled over so that he was facing the wall. Brendon and Dallon shared a look. 

“Ry?” Brendon asked, softly. 

Ryan didn’t respond, but he was shaking slightly and Dallon and Brendon could just make out the soft sounds of Ryan crying over the sound of the movie playing. Brendon muted the movie as Dallon turned so that he was facing Ryan’s back. He wrapped his arms around Ryan’s slender torso and Dallon realised just _how_ small Ryan had gotten. 

“How long?” Brendon asked. 

“What?” Ryan asked, feigning innocence. 

“You know what. You barely ate any lunch and you ate even less of dinner. How long haven’t you been eating?” Brendon pushed. 

“I - I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Ryan said, indignantly.

“Baby, we just want to make sure you’re okay.” Dallon said, softly. 

“I’m fine.” Ryan snapped and moved out of Dallon’s grip and wriggled closer to the wall. 

Dallon and Brendon looked at each other with concern over their boyfriend. Ryan closed his eyes, thinking that if he pretended to be asleep his boyfriends would leave him alone. They did. It sent a pang of hurt through Ryan’s chest, that they didn’t press the issue - even if Ryan wouldn’t answer. He could feel Dallon roll over and place an arm around Brendon, to which the latter snuggled unconsciously into. 

Ryan sighed into the pillow when he felt tears start to run down his face. When he was sure that Brendon and Dallon were asleep, he slowly got out of the bed and crept to the lounge chair in the living room. He had fetched a heavy blanket on his travel. He arranged the lounge so that he could lie on it and Ryan fell asleep there, wondering if his boyfriends even wanted him any more. 

~*~

When morning came, Dallon and Brendon woke up. Panic jolting up their spines and worry coiling in their stomachs when they realised the Ryan wasn’t in their bed. They woke up quickly and practically jumped out of bed. At first the pair checked the bathroom, the guest rooms and the kitchen without finding the other man. 

Brendon was struggling to control his erratic breathing. 

“Bren, we still haven’t checked the living room, he’s probably there.” Dallon said, rubbing a hand against Brendon’s back. 

He nodded in reply and continued their quest to find Ryan. When they rounded the corner to the living room, they saw him sleeping on the lounge. Dallon breathed out a sigh of relief, he wasn’t aware that he was holding it in. 

“Do we - should we wake him?” Brendon asked. 

Dallon looked at the clock on the wall and nodded. 

Brendon crouched down in front of Ryan and shook him gently. “Ry, babe?” 

Ryan’s eyes fluttered open, his face melting as he saw Brendon and Dallon. Ryan’s face scrunched as quickly as it had melted. He didn’t want them near him. He didn’t want to hurt them because he was hurting himself. Ryan struggled as he tried to get up from the lounge and move away from the two other men. 

“Ryan, Ryan. Hey. No.” Dallon said as Ryan attempted to get away. “We just want to help you, okay? We love you.” 

When it was clear that Brendon nor Dallon were going to give up, Ryan stopped struggling and his head was spinning. 

“Can, can I please have a granola bar?” Ryan asked in a small voice. 

Dallon rushed to perform Ryan’s request, his heart breaking for the younger man. Brendon stayed with Ryan, rubbing a hand on the other’s back, providing a small comfort to Ryan, who thought he would never deserve the patience and love that Brendon and Dallon provided him. 

Dallon returned with the granola bar, an apple and, in the background, Ryan could hear the muffled noises of the coffee machine. He accepted the snack and ate the granola bar swiftly, in a way only a person who hadn’t eaten could. Ryan then moved on to the piece of fruit. No one spoke, it was quiet except for the hum of the coffee machine and the crunch of Ryan biting into his apple. 

Realising what he had done, Ryan let the half eaten apple fall out of his hand and onto the floor. 

“Ryan?” Brendon asked, gently as the other man’s eyes glazed over with tears.

“Please just go.” Ryan replied, his voice wavering slightly. 

“We’re not going anywhere.” Dallon said, “you need to tell us what’s going on.” 

~*~

“Hey baby.” Brendon said as Ryan walked in the door, finally home from his therapy session. 

“Hi, Bren.” Ryan replied, before kissing the other man. 

“Dallon’s at the store.” Brendon stated, noticing Ryan’s confused look. “How was your session today?” 

“Good. It was good.” 

Brendon’s face lit up. It wasn’t easy for Ryan to get better. Brendon and Dallon couldn’t fix him, but they did their best to help. It was hard, at first, for Ryan to get better and want to get better. Yet, after many long months, he was improving. Ryan was happier and more comfortable with the hugs and touches that his boyfriends provided. 

**Author's Note:**

> [come talk to me](https://naughtyryro.tumblr.com/)


End file.
